Happy New Year dear teal sisters!

I wrote a book about my experience of being diagnosed with ovarian cancer and about going through treatments and the 'what happens next' - the aftermath, something that I believe is not really talked about enough:) 

The book is called 'Beyond Stillness: A Diary of Ovarian Cancer' and it is illustrated with collages that I made while undergoing chemotherapy. I found that cutting things up and re-arranging them was a very calming activity when I was so very anxious about everything else!

I will attach a few pages here to give you a sense of the book and if you are interested in ordering a copy it is possible to do so through my website: Eva Richardson

Sending you all healing and strength,

Eva

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@Eva R thank you for sharing.  I think it is so important now that I'm in the "watch and wait" phase too to be able to find a way to express our experiences that we have endured.  I recently wrote a letter to myself about all I endured the past year to help me work thru this.  I don't think anyone truly understands how our brain works and processes this disease as we wait….🩵👊

Thank you for your message Meinvan. I love that idea! Writing a letter to yourself to remember/express/process the whole experieince. I found that while in frontline I had no time to process anything - I was in survival mode. But when it all ended many deep emotions surfaced and many feelings that were previously unknown. Writing and making collages were my ways of excavating all of those fears and unknowns and of giving them form. Somehow it helped! Wishing you all the best, Eva

@Eva R, I agree and I think others will too, we have all been in survival mode and when we come out the other side we need to find a way to process all that we have been through.  Very well said Eva.

Hi @lbarr72 ... agreed. Survivorship is very hard. Sadly for those who aren't truly in our circle, they don't understand. I know they try. They sympathize. They empathize. Often it's not enough for us. I will also have the "end of Olaparib" discussion this year. I hope there will be openness for continuation if it has been working. I guess we never know unless we ask. I also agree that we are all grateful for being NED however the dark cloud is so hard to push away. I know Wellspring and also OCC in the resources section of this site, have support on Managing Thought related to Recurrence. There is however a huge difference between what's on a PowerPoint Slide vs reality of our minds and bodies. My hope for you is that you remain NED into infinity! 🩵

#Supportandencouragement

@Eva R congratulations on the book and for sharing the excerpts. All of your words are so relatable and the collages are lovely.

I really do love seeing how everyone has approached the "mental health" side of this disease. I did try journaling but it wasn't for me. I do not have an artistic side. I know some would argue we all do however for me, we shall just say it's not in my wheelhouse. Finding OCC and OVdialogue was the focus for me. Being able to engage with so many Teal Sisters has helped me emotionally (positively) in so many ways. 

Thank you again for sharing and I hope the messages in your book will be read far, and wide to help other Teal Warriors.

#Supportandencouragement

@Eva R congrats on the successful four month check up.🙌🙌 Those are always nerve racking. 🩵

#Supportandencouragement

Eva,

   I enjoyed reading the excerpts from your book; the collages are marvellous in their elegant simplicity. You write beautifully. 

   As other teal sisters have said, there is something very healing in translating our complex emotions into creative expression. I was also drawn to writing and drawing because there was so much to process, especially in the aftermath of post-treatment. I have created a number of drawings about the shock of diagnosis and my medical treatment. Some of them are hard to look at even now. I was an art therapist in my professional days, so was very acquainted with expression through imagery, but my personal art really shook me. It had to be done as it was so vital for maintaining my mental health. I am in a good place right now and relishing this period of good health. I try not to anticipate too much into the future, as it gets me nowhere. I hope that you continue to be well. I will also check out your book. I think that many women would appreciate reading it, as this illness can feel like a lonely road sometimes. 

Best wishes,

Leslie 

Dear Leslie,

Thank you so much for your comments about the collages and about the writing:) It was such an important project for me - somehow it gave me the opportunity to gently excavate a web of feelings and emotions that were complicated and so hard to understand. I am very grateful to have had the time and the energy to give form to this harrowing experience as I am sure you were when you made your series of drawings. Making the collages was like a meditation - I realized afterwards that they were like these small spaces that I could arrange and 'control' when so many other aspects of my life were spiralling out of control.

I am so happy to hear that you are in a good place now with your health. I just had my check up and am also doing well for the time being and so I am cherishig this time! Somehow things feel magnified when there is this underlying feeling of not knowing...

If you would like a copy of the book please send me your address and I will drop it in the mail. It would be a pleasure to share the images and the words!

Wishig you all the best,

Eva

Dear Eva

I have been following this thread with interest. I am so glad to see you sharing your beautiful and powerful work. It has been a delight to connect with you anmd to have a copy of the book to hold in my hand.. Your experiences are things I can relate to and seeing how you process your experiences and emotions helps me (and us all?) to make sense of them for ourselves. Stepping back into a life after treatment with fears of recurrence and finding a way to hold this challenge while also embracing the people and experiences that bring me joy as been a long slow process. Today I am in a good place and so grateful to be among all of you and a part of this great organization. I feel so much stronger being a part of this community.

Dear Liz,

Thank you so much for your comments about the book and for being my support buddy along this journey. I too am so happy that I found this community and really do believe that together we are stronger as not many people can really relate to this experience.

Big teal hugs to you!

Xxx

@lbarr72 how much do I love the term "glimmers" for when we experience those joyful moments. The visual it provides is amazing. Thank you for sharing!!🩵

#Healthandwellness