We have just passed the Thanksgiving Weekend and hopefully all of you found ways to share gratitude for family, friends and our beautiful country.
We had my youngest son and his 2 kids join us for brunch, and then a turkey dinner with my husband's nieces and nephews. Easy to find the joy.
I am feeling well at this time, but my inside story says that the cancer is present and growing, hopefully slowly. After a few chats with my oncologist, I am getting into a calmer frame of mind. At first I was stunned to lose my NED status just before completing my 2 years of olaparib. Having begun this journey as stage 3C ovarian cancer, I knew it had filled the fluid in my peritoneum with cells as well as 2 tumors. Seeing the words describing the patient on the last CT form as diagnosed with " metastatic ovarian cancer" took me aback. My doctor avoids predictions as impossible, and as the problem with the disease. The Great Unkown ! Having already done the surgery, 6 rounds of chemo and olaparib, it is spooky ( seasonal eh ?) to not be actively fighting now. Next step is back to chemo ( same drugs which I tolerated fairly well before) but holding off for now to enjoy my ability to function. We have 2 nights away this month and have booked to fly to Nova Scotia on Dec 26th to finish the holidays there after celebrating in Ontario with my boys and their familes.
The fact that I feel calmer now surprises me, but perhaps I am moving through the stages of grief. Friends are coming for the weekend, and fall has been beautiful. I subscribe to the joy of Now ! My art reflects that...
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