Thank you for providing this explanation about mindfulness, self-compassion and awe. These states of being have become more meaningful to me as I have gotten older and more reflective. I did a lot of training in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) in my work as a clinical counsellor because the tenets fit nicely with my life/work philosophy. ACT uses mindfulness in the balanced way you describe: noticing, allowing & making room for all the feelings but not to the point of being overwhelmed; getting in touch with our values as in what matters most to us & committing to build a life that reflects those values. Self-compassion is part of it and there is much more. I love how the approach normalizes struggle & suffering in life, but also offers ideas to work with it in empowering ways.
Original Message:
Sent: 04-18-2025 20:25
From: FrogProf
Subject: Post Surgery update
Good evening, Teal Sisters!
The professor in me is very happy to see all the healthy skepticism out there.
LeslieA mentioned an interest in awe and self-compassion, so if you share her interest, read on... Awe is what we experience when we encounter something vast (literally or metaphorically) that exceeds our experience/capacity to understand. Nature is an obvious source of awe, but so are art, music, complex ideas, and moral beauty. I will always remember the experience of walking out of the Metro in Washington, DC on January 21, 2017 and joining the sea of pink that was the Women's March. That was a day of awe for me.
Self-compassion is what is sounds like: compassion turned inward, although to many (if not most) of us in the West, that may seem like a strange concept. It is rooted in Buddhist philosophy and consists of three interrelated facets. 1) Self-kindness involves treating yourself the way that you would treat a good friend, or someone else you care about who is having a tough time. We are often are own worst self-critics. If you catch yourself criticizing yourself, ask if you would say the same to a friend.
2) Common humanity involves the understanding that all humans are imperfect, and we all suffer. Often when we are struggling, we say things like, "Why do these things always happen to me?" We may fail to notice that others are suffering, too. I think this relates nicely to our community of Teal Sisters. Being part of this community reminds us that we are not alone, and we all share this (unwanted) bond.
3) Mindfulness involves holding negative thoughts and feelings in a state of balanced awareness, rather than going to one extreme of suppression (which may backfire) or the other of ruminating. This is a more narrow form of mindfulness than you may have learned about. Here is the "light bulb" moment that I often share with students. I have had many travel troubles over the years, so I don't remember which one this was, but I was at an airport once when someone announced that my flight was delayed because of "crew." (What kind of "explanation" is that?!) I was mad, but I didn't start ranting and raving at the powerless gate agents, nor did I tell myself that everything was fine, and that I loved the idea of spending yet another night at an airport hotel. Instead, I thought to myself, "This is frustrating." I allowed myself to feel frustrated but didn't get carried away.
I think that mindfulness may be especially important for this community. It reminds me of how someone posted that she lets herself have "all the feels." It's unreasonable to expect anyone to be happy or even to put on a brave face all the time. Emotional suppression can be mentally taxing. It's okay to be sad, angry, frustrated, etc., especially when you are living with or beyond a terrible disease.
I try to practice self-compassion in my own life, but I sometimes fail, and I try to be self-compassionate about that, too. :)
If you'd like to learn more, check out Dr. Kristin Neff's web site: https://self-compassion.org/.
Original Message:
Sent: 04-18-2025 13:30
From: florence2022
Subject: Post Surgery update
Hi Melissa, thank you for sharing your valuable insight. It is natural for us to seek alternative care but you are right to be cautious. Cancer just makes us vulnerable to these "practitioners" who offering all kinds of solutions. Even well wishing people offering advice for something they have not experienced or have limited knowledge.
I have found my Naturopathic Oncologist ( FABNO trained) to be very helpful with side effects and to maintain general health.
They know that they don't have the tools to fight OC alone but offer support with diet, vitamins, nutritive IV's etc. as an example I was having migraines for 5 days after chemo and the meds were hurting my stomach, she recommended the IV with magnesium and B- vitamins which was very helpful. They are also trained in contraindications so there isn't any conflict.
I also have a wonderful acupuncturist that helps me tremendously.
The Mindfulness course offered by BCCA is also wonderful and I continue to practice which has brought me peace through my health journey.
As part of the cancer journey we are also very fortunate to have Well Spring and Inspired Health with so many helpful services.
This is just my journey and there are so many helpful ideas on this site. Despite all these things this miserable cancer is so invasive I am just trying to live well with OC.
Hoping to do some gardening today and maybe a little bike ride.
Have a beautiful Easter!
With gratitude,
Lauren xxx
Original Message:
Sent: 04-18-2025 01:48
From: melissa
Subject: Post Surgery update
Hi Leslie,
I was reading this thread and the part about " Dr Amy" caught my attention. When I was first diagnosed I found her videos on YouTube as well and at first I felt like I found something helpful.
I can't place my finger in it but something just didn't sit well with me so I looked her up. She was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian CA but....... Germ cell mixed with teratoma. Translation, very very very high survival rate. She was not diagnosed with epithelial ovarian CA but, she has made many videos where she includes herself in our category. Even going so far as implying she was part of the 40% survival rate.
She completely misrepresented herself to gain subscribers and money and I find that despicable.
ISeriously contemplated calling her out but I decided against it as she Seems to actually be a pharmacist and is helping women with breast cancer.
Original Message:
Sent: 04-16-2025 15:45
From: LeslieA
Subject: Post Surgery update
Thank you, every bit of information helps. These terms and medications are all so new to me that I have to look everything up. The oncologist mentioned BRCA 2 to me after an initial blood test, and I have since taken another at her request plus we will see what the tumour tissue sample reveals, taken out of me last week. I find this to be a confusing new language to learn re: abbreviations such as BRCA, HRD, parp, etc., but I will get there!
I am wondering a lot about something else: when there is a cancer recurrence (which seems like it often happens), does that mean the maintenance drug wasn't the right choice, or it wasn't used after surgery or something else such as cancer cells regrouping and changing course? Is it likely that we will all go through with recurrences no matter what we do? (I know a young woman who opted out of maintenance drugs, instead adopting a rigorous health regimen and her cancer came back within a year with a vengeance). Perhaps important to note is that she had stage 4 OC. She went back to aggressive chemo and now accepts that she needs maintenance drug therapy going forward.
There is a woman named Dr. Amy who markets a cancer-free program through YouTube, saying that she had stage 3 OC 8 years ago and has had no recurrence. She coaches women on nutrition, targeted exercise, mindset, and lifestyle to remain "cancer free". Her program is expensive and I just wonder if it is all bunk?
Original Message:
Sent: 04-16-2025 07:18
From: mcb
Subject: Post Surgery update
Hi @LeslieA,
Its wonderful that your surgery went well and that the prior chemo was so effective! I am currently taking Zejula following my surgery and chemo. I started at 200mg based on my weight. It caused some insomnia for a few days. Other than that, I didn't seem to have any side effects. However, by day 21of the 28 day cycle my neutrophils dropped to 0.4 (normal is 2.0-7.0). I was taken off the medication for a week and then resumed it at half the dose 100mg. I feel quite well on the drug. That said, there can be serious side effects, so have a thorough discission with your oncologist.
I tested negative for any germline mutations, but the tumor tissue tested after surgery showed a deletion of the whole BRCA 1 and 2 gene. Before starting Zejula another sample was sent to test for HRD status which was positive. I don't know if HRD status is a requirement because I'm pretty sure I started the medication before the results were known.
Hope that helps.
Original Message:
Sent: 04-12-2025 13:23
From: LeslieA
Subject: Post Surgery update
Hello Teal Sisters,
I am happily home from my full hysterectomy and all the other "ectomies" including debulking. I was in the hospital for 3 nights and was very motivated to get out as soon as possible. Victoria General Hospital was overrun with patients in the hallway, overworked nurses, and a feeling of chaos. I was well-looked after for the most part, but found the noisiness, terrible food, and grungy bathroom quite enough for 3 days. I vomited profusely the next morning after surgery, which was unpleasant, but felt better after the purge. I drank tons of water.
I made sure I ticked all the boxes for going home as soon as possible and made the 3.5 hours drive home on Thursday, hugging my pillow.
In terms of surgery, it was completed in approximately 2.5 hours. The surgeon said that the tumour in question was very tiny and there were no other spots of cancer to cut away. He said my response to chemo was remarkable. They used an epidural to keep the area numb and I only remember pushing the pain button twice the first day after surgery, thereafter using Tylenol and Cellebrex. Now at home, I keep to the regimen of Tylenol every 6 hours and accept the normal amounts of discomfort. I am also on blood thinners twice a day.
The sun is shining today and I wish I could walk more, but I have been warned to slow down. So for now it is up and down the hallway and perhaps next week it will be more steps.
My understanding is that remnants of the tumour will be sent away for further study and the drug Jezula be a consideration for maintenance (once I complete the follow-up chemo). I have no idea about this medication. Have others been on it and what was your impression?
I hope that everyone is hanging in there and doing as well as they possibly can. I really appreciate the support and information you provided me before surgery; I used all your suggestions and it helped!
I will try to catch up on the conversations that have occurred while I was out of commission.
Leslie