Good evening, Teal Sisters!
The professor in me is very happy to see all the healthy skepticism out there.
LeslieA mentioned an interest in awe and self-compassion, so if you share her interest, read on... Awe is what we experience when we encounter something vast (literally or metaphorically) that exceeds our experience/capacity to understand. Nature is an obvious source of awe, but so are art, music, complex ideas, and moral beauty. I will always remember the experience of walking out of the Metro in Washington, DC on January 21, 2017 and joining the sea of pink that was the Women's March. That was a day of awe for me.
Self-compassion is what is sounds like: compassion turned inward, although to many (if not most) of us in the West, that may seem like a strange concept. It is rooted in Buddhist philosophy and consists of three interrelated facets. 1) Self-kindness involves treating yourself the way that you would treat a good friend, or someone else you care about who is having a tough time. We are often are own worst self-critics. If you catch yourself criticizing yourself, ask if you would say the same to a friend.
2) Common humanity involves the understanding that all humans are imperfect, and we all suffer. Often when we are struggling, we say things like, "Why do these things always happen to me?" We may fail to notice that others are suffering, too. I think this relates nicely to our community of Teal Sisters. Being part of this community reminds us that we are not alone, and we all share this (unwanted) bond.
3) Mindfulness involves holding negative thoughts and feelings in a state of balanced awareness, rather than going to one extreme of suppression (which may backfire) or the other of ruminating. This is a more narrow form of mindfulness than you may have learned about. Here is the "light bulb" moment that I often share with students. I have had many travel troubles over the years, so I don't remember which one this was, but I was at an airport once when someone announced that my flight was delayed because of "crew." (What kind of "explanation" is that?!) I was mad, but I didn't start ranting and raving at the powerless gate agents, nor did I tell myself that everything was fine, and that I loved the idea of spending yet another night at an airport hotel. Instead, I thought to myself, "This is frustrating." I allowed myself to feel frustrated but didn't get carried away.
I think that mindfulness may be especially important for this community. It reminds me of how someone posted that she lets herself have "all the feels." It's unreasonable to expect anyone to be happy or even to put on a brave face all the time. Emotional suppression can be mentally taxing. It's okay to be sad, angry, frustrated, etc., especially when you are living with or beyond a terrible disease.
I try to practice self-compassion in my own life, but I sometimes fail, and I try to be self-compassionate about that, too. :)
If you'd like to learn more, check out Dr. Kristin Neff's web site: https://self-compassion.org/.