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Dear Teal sisters, the last two weeks preparing for radiation treatments has been more difficult than I imagined. Pulmonary testing, set up Contrast CTscan with tattoos, Contrast MRI and finally a Colonoscopy yesterday. 
i don't feel that I was fully prepared or understood the the full scope of these tests, and all in a short period of time.

This was the first time I was awake during the colonoscopy and although I thought it may be  difficult it allowed me to ask questions. Sadly when I saw the area where the OC has now invaded my colon I could see it and the impact was a bit overwhelming. My gastroenterologist was very compassionate and concerned as the colon was healthy other than the tumor. I am just trying to elevate myself out of the shock and move on. This miserable cancer is just relentless.

I was hopeful for a lovely Easter weekend and will genuinely try to compartmentalize this development until next week. 

Love and light,

Lauren

@florence2022 I'm sorry to hear about the colon tumor. I'm sure it has come as a shock and you will need time to process. Perhaps the positive is that the colon is healthy other than the tumor. Do you have time set up to discuss the findings and next step with your oncologist?

I'm sure your mind is racing so am sending you lots of positive vibes and thoughts. Stay strong.

Hello Lauren,

   I am sending you a virtual hug today, filled with warmth and kindness as you process this latest development. All those tests in a short space of time must have been bewildering. As Alwayslearning said, it is good that the colon itself is healthy! Whatever positives we find, we hold onto them! Compartmentalizing is a good skill to have and one I hope to cultivate better.  

   I hope that you enjoy the Easter weekend regardless. Here on the west coast, we have had unusually warm, sunny weather the last couple of days and it will continue for a few days. The spring flowers are showing off and I can smell their light, gentle fragrance when I walk around the neighborhood. 

Kindly,

Leslie 

Thank you, Leslie for your kind words, I have an imaginary box that holds things that need to be dealt with, in my case it is painted with my favorite aquamarine colour.. allowing me a temporary reprieve from difficult situations. 
I am very happy to hear that you are "walking around the neighborhood", enjoying the scent of the flowers, warmth of the sun and gentle breezes.  Surrounding yourself with beauty all very helpful during your healing journey.

Springtime is truly upon us and Easter weekend a time to celebrate and find joy in Mother Natures spectacular offerings, friends, family and good food.

Happy Easter,

Lauren 🐇🐇🐇

@florence2022   I thought I would check in and see how you are doing.  Last time you posted your were compartmentalizing things. How is that going for you and did it help?  How are you doing on your journey emotionally as well as physically? It is good that the colon itself is in good shape and is positive news for sure. The amount of testing you had done in a short period of time must have been stressful for you and am thankful it is now over for you. When do you obtain the results of your testing and how are you feeling about it all?  Let us know when you can. In the meantime, take care of you!