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@Eileen uggh! So tough.....so much to still be going through. Glad you have the support of your BFF and sister.  You are right it is difficult emotionally when one does up the legal stuff.  I recall crying when we updated and when we signed our wills and Power of Attorneys. I can't imagine doing that legal stuff AND going through all you are going through. You have a lot of inner strength. The outer speaks for itself when one reads all your posts.  You are more than a trooper even if you don't feel it yourself right now.  
  Sounds like you have a very attentive and action oriented Oncologist currently that is doing everything they can to assist you to obtain results.  I truly hope you are not in unmanageable pain and that it is being controlled for you.  As the C. Dif is present it is hard to fathom its on the backburner but comparatively as you battle the cancer from within, it truly is the minor issue of it all.  It saddens me that it took this long for you to receive action and options for relief of symptoms.  I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that top oncologist on the island gets in touch with you sooner than expected.  Sleeping must be difficult to find a position comfortable enough to rest. How you found the wherewithall, courage and strength to write to all of us today is commendable. I don't know if I would be able to or would even have the fortitude to do it.  
  If you feel up to updating or can, we will all be here for you. Know you are in our thoughts as we wish you comfort, as little pain as can be and peace for what is for now.  You are inspiring to me and the battle you have been fighting mostly alone which is a whole other story in and of itself.  Rest our friend and find some strength for tomorrow.  

To ALL that are reading this thread.  Some of this content is an area that may not be a comfortable topic for all.  My intention is that it becomes an area that is normalized as it is a reality that many face at some point along their journey.  If you are not ready to receive this information, that is understandable.  For those that may be facing this, it is useful information that helps to alleviate any fears surrounding it. It takes incredible bravery and courage to find the space to be able to share as one goes through the end stages of their own journey and all it encompasses.  
I consider myself fortunate to have had physicians who foresaw where things were headed for myself. Once I wrapped my head around retiring from my profession, my focus became making sure all of my professional life was tidied up, including legal stuff completed (updating wills and power of attorneys), applied for Disability Tax Credit and CPP Disability.  It is a lot both to organize to get it completed as well as the emotional impact it has on oneself.  It is like reality smacks you hard in the face even if you don't want it to.  These are all difficult topics to not only accept but to think about what it means and what that will look like for your family after the fact and to not get stuck in dwelling on it.  I would encourage everyone to make sure they have supports or ask for supports should you choose to start any of this.  I will also state that I am what I consider fairly good with filling in forms but required a social worker to assist me to finish completing the CPP Disability Forms.  These forms are very lengthy and require a patient portion as well as an attending physician portion.  
I believe that after going through the emotions attached to this is how and why I began my Legacy work.  All the 'what ifs' surrounded my head and started becoming overwhelming.  I then began thinking about how to chunk it down and what I wanted to do for the important people in my life.  Biggest of all being my boys and preparing things I may not be present for like babies etc.  Finding the "perfect" thing/project that I thought best represented that person and what it meant to myself as well was a journey in and of itself.  Including notes to them to go with their project is now coming to fruition as I start to wrap many of them up.  All of it is what helps to fill my days with purpose and meaning.  I am sharing this with all of you so that you can think about what I am writing and decide if now is the time to start thinking about these types of things for yourself and your loved ones.  Since joining this group, I know that some delay it and then the 'turn around' is sudden and many don't have the ability nor strength to complete any of it.  For myself, I am at peace with the fact that once I get these wrapped, I will have done all I set out to do and if that corner turns for me, well, I will be at peace knowing I have done all I can to leave some of myself behind for all those near and dear to me.  
Be patient with yourselves when you reach this stage or process as the mental and emotional toll it can have on one's psyche is a lot.  Make sure you have supports and share with someone close or professional to help you through it.  Above all, commend the courage and bravery for those that find the strength to continue to share on this site all the while they are experiencing and sharing what occurs before end of life happens. Make sure you talk to someone if this is an area that brings about emotions that you don't feel you are able to process through and to have them support you so as to not spiral downward instead. 
It would be lovely if we were all on the same page all the time. The reality is we are not and this is where one topic thread may not be for you 'right now' but will be there for when you are.  Kindly reach out if anyone needs any resources for supports etc at any point in time in your journeys. Some have excellent supports as they go through their journey and others are seriously lacking.  Know there are resources out there that can help.  One can private message me should asking in a group setting not be for you.   I will continue to share general information as I  come across it as it may be that little nugget of info you are looking for. 
Take care of yourselves as we are important and can be unkind to ourselves sometimes without knowing it.  This site is yours, ask for what you need so we can make it relevant to all.   

@melissa Yes, it is hard to wrap our heads around the 'wait and see' phase as we analyze every little nuance of any body change we have. Especially as this is engrained in us as we go through treatments. Finding activities to fill a day can be challenging especially if one is off work still.  Pinterest is an excellent site to find very affordable ideas to do and fill up some of those days.  Journaling is another activity that can occupy more of our time than we think it can.  I am doing some journals for a few people so a lot of writing when I feel up to doing it.  Sometimes it brings tears but not always sad ones, sometimes they are happy memory tears.  I hope you find something or many things to fill this space for yourself.
@Hooodith Thank you for the nuggets of information regarding gut health. Keep at that poetry and share now and then like you do.  I am sincerely hoping I find a solution soon for my abdominal issues.
@GloHo How are you doing and where are things at for yourself?
@Eileen I sincerely hope today finds you that little bit better than yesterday.  You are inspiring especially knowing you have gone most of this alone.
@Taita Thank you for finding this a safe space to share where you are at and being open to answering anyone's questions they may have at the same time.  Truly inspiring. 
Take care ladies and thank you for sharing.

@melissa How awful and definitely had a profound effect on you both this accident.  I am thankful you are both ok and feel for the families that were affected.
  Yes, the conversations have been deep and will not resonate with everyone, and that is okay as we won't all be on the same wave length as our journeys continue.
  What you mentioned you read is why I choose to do my Legacy work.  I have witnessed too many who find out too late, are not physically or mentally capable to do anything but exist and those who aren't there yet, and some that regret later.  I felt so many emotions when I was told to 'enjoy life' that it was difficult to see the gift I was given.  Many emotional days followed before my head and heart started to clear. As you mentioned, to be able to plan, forgive, and have meaningful relationships, the list could go on.  It 'fills me up' being able to leave things I want for my beloved. It also provides me with purpose and fills my days.  
  I also understand those that choose not to think or act on any of it. It is, in the end, whatever gets one through the day(s).  
  I enjoy reading posts of others lives and the joyful things occurring in them and pictures they share.  There are days that it is what I need and picks me up.  What I find most fascinating is their lives/stories and the many talents they have and feel they can share with us.
   Thank you for sharing, all of you and feeling it is a safe and inclusive space to do so.  After all, this is your space to make of it what you will and let conversations flow.