Well @Shortie that is all you can do. Provide the info and let your sister sit with it, herself, to decide when she is ready. It is hard to watch when you know something can provide some positive to all the "advice giving laden info" from others. I recall that time and it is heavy. It is why I was thankful that I had this group so that I could turn a deaf ear to those that were not going through it and find a sense of community in this forum that I could turn to. All in due time for her, as it is her journey. We will be here when and if she is ready. :)
Now back to you. You sound like you are at a cross road not knowing where to go or which road to take. I am saddened that you feel or do have "not a huge amount of people trying to be with me either". Do you want to elaborate on that? Are they all rushing to your sister or is this was how it has been since the onset of your journey?
You have every right to want to be alone when you need to be. Part of this is recognizing those times in our lives and allowing ourselves "to be". By no means should we EVER have to feel like we should be pretending for others that everything is okay. I have found that those that showed disinterest are okay with you saying "I'm ok" as an answer to how you are doing. My experience has shown, they don't either know what to say or do or are doing it for themselves. I have slowly removed them from my life. I don't need it as I go through my own journey. You will need to determine how much you let them in yours and when, if you want them to be part of your life. It is your journey and your process not anyone else's.
There are many great resources on Wellspring.ca that you can check out for yourself if you want. There is a wealth of information on this forum as well when you type certain key words into the search bar.
We are here for you for whatever you need and however we can support you. You let us know how we can do that for you.
I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to be going through your own journey and wanting to support and be there for your sister as well with barriers in the way. Including distance, your own diagnosis, your own journey and your sister's wishes with her own journey. It would be tough and heart wrenching at times, I am sure. You would not only be going through anticipatory grief of your own diagnosis but for what everything means for your sister too. So tough to be in and navigate through. The advice I can give you is get yourself as good as you can be, for you, mainly but you can't be there for your sister if you aren't. Like what they tell you in the plane about masks and little ones....you know ...put yours on and then assist others.
So, my fellow Teal Sister, let us know how we can help you at your time of need and help you get through some of this in your own way and your own time. We are all here, when you are ready to be open and vulnerable to share in a safe space as you navigate your journey going forward.
Take care of you, rest and think about the words in the post. They come from a place of wanting to help wherever possible to make the other's journeys more bearable and for them to not feel alone during any of it. <3