Hysterectomy

Ele

I don’t even know where to start, I am so overwhelmed.  No one really prepared me for the after side effects …..

Long story short I’ll be 34 next month was diagnosed with HGOC stage 3.  Got through chemo in high hopes of not having to have a hysterectomy.  Had to get one regardless ovaries gone, fallopian tubes gone, uterus gone.

My emotions are everywhere, I am depressed.  I feel like I’m spinning I have more bad days than good.
I am on an antidepressant(3 weeks today). I am also on HRT.

Please tell me I’m not crazy.  These overwhelming feelings of grief, sadness, loneliness…. Anger the last day or two. How did you all cope,  my support system through family or friends is next to none.   I do have a therapist I see twice a week. 

Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed and tired I can’t remember what to ask my drs.

HoldingOn

@Ele:  Believe it or not, I feel safe in saying that we’ve all been through the feelings you’ve described. All I can say to assure you is that you will get beyond the confusion and grief and anger and fear. Perhaps not completely, but like many of us, it won’t be the overwhelming force that defeats you entirely. 

You’ll be surprised at the inner strength that comes once you begin recovering from the chemotherapy and the surgery. 

I’m so glad you have a therapist to support you. Don’t ever hesitate to ask for help; cancer centres have lots of resources available including social workers to help you sort through work and financial issues, dieticians who can address problems like poor appetite and weight loss, physical therapists, pharmacologists if you have questions about supplements and complementary medications. 

And as you recover, your ability to think clearly also comes back. 

Six months after my diagnosis, surgery and chemotherapy, the cancer came back and I had another series of chemo. During all that time my husband was my primary support and then suddenly and unexpectedly he died. My relatives all live far away, I had a few good friends but some of them had drawn away after my diagnosis. So I learned (and am still learning) to be alone for the most part. I won’t tell you it’s easy but “it is what it is” and you learn to cope and discover along the way that you’re stronger than you ever thought you could be and there are people out there like neighbours and acquaintances who offer help.  

Don’t give up @Ele: the beginning is the the hard part so be gentle with yourself. 

I send you many hugs and hope 

Strongwoman

@Ele
  I concur with @HoldingOn.
It's not easy at all. I think you should talk to your team about all of it. First for supports they can offer you. Second, you are also going through surgical induced menopause which will be a huge change to your body. That is not to dismiss your symptoms but to mention it and determine what you may need to get yourself through this. All the swings of emotions you have gone through are all grief related. Let them be felt but talk to your team and keep them in the loop. If you can't remember things, keep a log of it. Just date it and put any symptoms and meds taken in it. This is helpful to you but to anyone else close to you helping with your health. Take someone with you to your appts so they can write things down for you and prompt you to ask the questions you want answered. 
  Reach out to your local Hospice or Wellspring to see if they have any programs you can access while you go through this.