The "C" word.
Do you feel like people are tired of hearing you talk about cancer? I really want to talk about my cancer. I want to talk about what I went through to every one I meet. But, I have learned that others don't want to hear it. I sometimes try to jokingly add it to a conversation, but it never goes over very well. I often get those weird looks and awkward silences when I say something about having cancer. I feel like people want me to move on. It's over with, Amanda, move on. Does anyone else feel like that? I am so excited to talk about it here with others like me. It was hard. It was scary. I am still in pain from my hysterectomy. I don't have my muscles back yet. I can barely go up the stairs. I am going through surgical menopause before I am supposed to. I can't have kids. I am now always irritated. Sigh! That feels so good to unload. And, I bet you get me. You know what I am talking about. You have gone through it, too. Or, you are going through it. Do you feel like you can't just talk about it with everyone? Or are you telling every stranger "Hey! I had/have ovarian cancer" and then they give you this Wow!-that's-too-much-information-that-I-can't-handle look. Is it just me or do you get that look, too? Being able to talk about what I went through, out loud, is my way of saying it and then letting it go. I am trying to find people who get me, who know what I am talking about and who understand it all.
5
Comments
One of my biggest issues in the months following my diagnosis was getting people to listen to me, in hindsight very few individuals made an effort to acknowledge my perspective. My experience as a cancer patient is that it can be difficult to find a sympathetic ear or someone who is empathetic. Even family members often seemed unwilling to let me open up about my emotions, fears, and concerns.
I'm glad we can share the comments, experiences and emotional connections we have with others.
And I can really relate to all of your comments.
For those that have posted, I'm curious - has any of this changed for you over time?
@Adnamarama, how are you doing now as your surgery was a few months ago?
to prepare him for another operation to fix an aortic aneurysm.
I started chemo in July, had surgery in September, and more chemo starting in October. The worst part of my treatment was the aftermath of the surgery. If I had known how painful it would be, I don’t think I would have had it. However, I worried more about my husband’s difficulties with learning to speak again than my own health. That sounds as if I’m a down-trodden woman, but I’m definitely not. His inability to speak coherently was frustrating for both of us and we were sometimes unable to give one another the support we each needed.
I stopped chemo before my last (6th) cycle in November because the tumour markers had dropped almost to normal and I was sick of being so tired...6 months of spending most of my days lying down was way too much even though I’m a low-energy person at the best of times.
My oncologist has told me that the cancer will probably be back within six to 18 months but I’m not worried. Now that I’m 6 weeks post-chemo I feel good again.
I don’t mind talking about my cancer with family, friends, and anyone who asks. Cancer is a fact of life and everyone knows someone who has, or has had it.
I’m not afraid of dying and if the cancer recurs, I won’t have any more chemo. I just want to be pain-free at the end.
@Kitty.. I'm sorry to hear you were dealing with your husband's recovery and your situation at the same time. You are a few months post chemo. Is the pain less for you now and how are you feeling today? Has it gotten any easier for you in dealing with your husband's recovery now that you are no longer having the chemo? The chemo treatment and the after effects really seemed to fatigue me. Each day just seemed to get better and I hope this has been the case for you also.
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. It is very difficult to find the light sometimes.... Someone recently wrote about the DRs having a "cloudy crystal ball" - I'm going with that reference. Like Margaret in the By your Side book mentioned - "Don't dwell on or let statistics make you come to a conclusion about your prognosis. You are not a statistic but an individual".
Seems the medical community may be listening as they are making advances everyday and pushing for personalized treatment.
Actually, I wrote that post in the summer, so it’s been a year since my first surgery and cancer diagnosis (Dec 21, 2016) and it will be a year on Feb 20 that I had my second surgery (complete hysterectomy) and since I’ve been cancer free. It was like getting on a roller coaster and then getting off.
I am feeling better; just in the last couple of weeks I feel like my old self—the fatigue is pretty much gone although I do still get tired if I do too much.
I’m wondering if anyone has been told that the cancer will probably be back within 6 to 18 months. I know it’s not written in stone, but that’s what I was told.
Someone mentioned before, those DRs only have a "cloudy crystal ball"- we can all see the stats, and we remember we are not stats, we are individuals.
Hoping you are doing well this evening.