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Bojenka

@Strongwoman wonderful pictures of your trip, thanks for sharing. Road trip towards Sault  Ste Marie is on a wish list for me definitely beautiful part of Ontario.

@Taita looking forward to seeing some photos of your trip to Portugal also. It’s inspiring to hear you are able to carry on living despite the battle and I am sorry to hear about the progression.

  Kind of where I am at with the treatment, currently waiting for CT scan after 6 chemo treatments. Hoping for stable and few months break, maybe quick trip in December.  The Thanksgiving weekend my husband and I visited friends on St Lawrence river which was wonderful. Thankful for that. 

Strongwoman

@GloHo Yes, it definitely sounds like you are in a state of flux.  Determining what to do next, what results mean going forward and clinical trials.  All of it is straining emotionally, mentally and physically on your body.  You sound like you have a good handle on it though.  So many thoughts and pros/cons to mull over. 
  Glad you were able to have a Thanksgiving dinner and enjoy it. Will you see your other son soon?  
  I will be thinking of you and wondering what your results are after your last set chemo.  It will definitely be a decision making time after that.  
  I am hopeful you will have a little break before starting another round without any risk/harm to you and your body.  
  Thinking of you and sending some positive vibes your way!

Strongwoman

@Taita I am looking forward to reading and possibly seeing some photos of your trip to Portugal.  It is on my bucket list of places I would like to go to.  Wonderful to be able to go and spend time with family.
  I am saddened to hear of the progression of disease.  Your post shows that you are not letting it get you down and are enjoying anytime you have with family/friends.  Good for you.  You have a positive outlook heading into whatever comes next and have created memories with loved ones prior to it.  That is awesome and so inspiring for all of us. 
  Enjoy your time away!!

Strongwoman

@Hooodith To do private messages, go to the envelope at the top right of your screen.  Click on it. Then click at the top right where it looks like a box with a pencil in it.  Where it says recipient, do not put the @ in there, just the name of the person to receive it.  Type your message in the next box and send. Voila, private message concurred!

Strongwoman

TO;  EVERYONE
  @mfallis has put up a message that is a poll.  It is entitled Teal Thursday Connection.  It is letting you choose what day of the week is better for you for chatting. If Thursday are not good, let her know and choose another day. She will send out another poll after that so that we can pick a time of day that is better.  
  Please don't forget to do this as we are attempting to make this better and accessible for everyone.  Time zones are real and we want to ensure we capture as much of an audience as we can.  
  Thank you to all who fill this out!

Eileen

Hi Everyone. Just caught up on reading everyone's post. @Strongwoman ty for sharing the pics. @Taita so sorry to hear about progression. I hope you enjoy your trip and look forward to seeing pics.

As for myself. Well shortly after my last post i was back in hospital again with the same pain. Left pain. That my oncologists said it was my bowels not my tymors causing it. Well the er dr didnt do any other ct she said you just had one their. 4 days ago. So blood work and then they suspected diverticulitis. Ok she gives me amox/clav to start taking. Well few days later omg i had a reg bowel movement with pure blood. Ok back to hospital. Now their like ok we are admitting u. No diarrea as i was taking restorolax as i was on 1 percent Hydromorphone as i was able to handle that.
So now another ct scan of abdominal and pelvic. Now dr suspects c diff. Ok then they want bowel sample ok well day and half later after they say ok drink this it will definitely make u go in few hrs. Nope. Ok had a visit with a GI dr. Ok lets set up a colonoscopy tomorrow. He says i dont think u have c diff. Ok start my drinking of prep. Oh but then i started noticing nurses suiting up with gowns gloves mask with plastic attached to the mask. Ok. Before they vome in to see me she said oh its just precaution because dr thinks u have c diff. So i start prep. Well for 4 hrs nothing but blood. They had me use a commode. Took the sample from that. Then i was moved from emerg room to a private room by mysrlf. An hr goes by nurse comes in says i tested positive for c diff. She said its a contagious bacteria that is treated with meds. So they start me on it right away. Signs go up on my door entering my room. And they put another commode for me to us. Well they don't tell you anything really about c diff. I had to read all about it on the cdc website eyc. Like omg!!! Also that the spores from this c difg you cannot get rid of my just reg cleaning. It can live on surfaces for up to 5 months. You have to bleach everything. And the bells and hoops and circles u have to follow to do this properly gloves paper towels etc. Once u make solution and dip your cloth in it you cannot put it back in the solution once u wipe something otherwise it contaminated the solution. So paper towels. And 1 out of every 6 people reget this after u done meds.
I have read so many reviews on the meds they gave me. So many people it didnt go away. They been battling this for months and finally got fecal transplant. That cured them. Like they send me home ok go to pick up my meds only to find out it isnt covered through my pwd through pharmacare. It is over 300 dollars! For 50 pills. So i have to do 1 pill called Vancomycin at 125mg every 6 hrs. For 2 weeks. Then do whats called pulsing where you do 1 pill every 3rd day for 5 weeks. I guess it helps still fight the c diff while your good bacteria develops. Because this vancomycin destroys all. Well 1st week i noticed pain gone but started cramps and more diarrea. Ok side effect of drug pharmacist recommends floraster. Which i did read it actually helps in conjunction with the vancomycin. Apparently lots of studies done. Ok so taking 2 of these 2hrs after my meds 2 times daily helped diarrea cleared up. Back to normal. Tg. Well 24 hrs normal bowels then next morning oh no back to diarrea. Oh no so i thought ok maybe not enough probiotic so i up it well it got worse pain started coming back. Then i read if pain starts coming back while on this meds call your dr they might have to up dose. Call the oncall oncologist. Oh I'm sure its just the meds causing side effects etc. Ill give u busacopan. To help. Well need less to say nope not working didnt get to go to my daughters for thanksgiving. They did a video chat during dinner. So all while this us going on oncologist saying no chemo under this is under control! Well my last ct when they omitted me into hospital showed even more growth of my existing ones in just 6 days from the last. Double. So finished the 2 week 4 a day pill. Bern doing a brat diet at the recommendation of my oncologist nurse. I waa suppose to restart chemo last week when i finished the 2 week treatment. But all my cramping and paon has come back. I'm going 4 to 6 times daily it is formed probably because of the brat diet. But not very big ring finger sizes. So had a ph call meeting with my oncologist team member. Yeah chemo on hold we talked as I'm concerned that this isn't going away and ill not be able to do treatment and ill end up dying. So both both my main oncologist who hasn't left yet on her sabbatical, talked with her other oncologist who is part of my team says ok we cannot do ca125 markers because all my inflamed bowels will just throw off the marker. Ok so now they said we just need u to get your gp to take control of this treatment. Because everyother dr just going to say this or that. You need your dr to take control over this situation. Ok so i talked to my gp. He says ok lets see what happens in a few days now that your finished the meds to see if it calmes down. Because i said i don't know whether its the meds or the c diff. In meantime he will order another bowel test to see to make sure nothing else is going on. Ok did that on thurs took it in i respoke to my dr on Friday and said nope cramping pain in lower has improved a bit but all the upper cramping pain and side pain are back and pressure like all along under the botyom ribs. He said yes it stills souns like u still have the infection but lets wait till see what the bowel samples are. So now another apoint thos tues. Ok ive spent 7 full days stripping my whole house clean i wear disposable gloves per room and washing 20 times a day. Making sure bathroom and kitchen are now being cleaned with my germicidal wipes everytime i use. Like dont know what else i can do. Im speaking weekly now with my councillor ive asked about this fecal transplant. Its only used for constant reoccuring c diff. But being im immune compromised and a cancer patient i thought ok it might have some pull. I asked my oncologist team member. And she said i wouldn't qualify because my chemo anbaxane that im going back on can cause it to reflare. Well i am not taking that. Im going to see if i can push for it. Because its now a month a half since my last chemo. My tumors are growing fast. Im scared that rhis is it thst i wont be able to have chemo and i wont be able to get rid of this c diff
 Yes ive been trying to stay positive trying to read watch tv but its hard when you in cramping pain. I live my myself. Sure the drs say yes i can still go places if i really need to because its just transferred though fecal. I have only gone to the blood clinic to pick up my stool kit and drop off. It ststes u have to be 48 hrs of having normal bowel movements before u are considered not contagious.  They are and they arent formed. I dont consider ring finger size bowel movements normal. I had normal bowel movements when i was admitted into hospital. Their are lots of cases who has had c diff and still had formed bowel movements. Well i still stay at home change bed sheets every 3rd day my carpets in front room and bedroom and couch cannot really clean that with javix all i can do is vacuum and and spray lysol disinfected spray on. Then i cover my couch with blanket and wash every 3rd or 4th day.
Well ty everyone for. Listening to my fears outcries im trying to stay positive. But its hard!!!####

Strongwoman

@Eileen I am saddened to hear of what is continuing to be a difficult journey for you and alone at that.  My Aunt had C Dif at the beginning if this year.  She also has continual bouts of diverticulitis as well and lives alone.  When I went to check on her, I knew something was wrong when I could smell the feces before I opened the door. I convinced her to go to hospital and same, ran tests etc to determine she had C. Dif.
I went to her house the following day and cleaned/disinfected her house (with cleaner I had for work), did up her bedding/clothing and cleaned and threw out stuff from her kitchen.  I was gloved and masked the entire time.  I cleaned every surface I could.
It is a very serious condition. 
  I understand your predicament and am not sure what I would do in your situation. If you did chemo and was not ready or if the C. Dif was not gone, your body would retaliate and possibly do things you wouldn't want it to do.  What are the risks involved with opening you up and spread of cancer compared to do nothing and getting the C Dif under control?  Is there anything they can give you for the pain/cramping or up your Hydromorph?
  These are all thoughts that go through my head after reading your post.  I truly hope some of this helps and you receive some more guidance soon as well as not be in as much pain.
  You take care of you and do your best to rest and sleep as it heals the body as well.
Take care

JoanEG

@Eileen I am new to this group and really can’t offer much except empathy, strength and positive energy. Please take good care.

Eileen

Ty both @Strongwoman and @JoanEG. Welcome to the group. I still continue to use my germicidal bleach wipes after thoroughly bleaching everything and throwing out what i couldn't clean. 
@Strongwomen you mentioned you through things out in her kitchen??? Do i have to throw out all my food and start over??? For my kitchen everything got cleaned of course except inside the  items inside the cupboards. I wipe things down inside the fridge thoroughly cleaned inside fridge. Threw out food in plastic containers wiped bottles in doorway and let them sit the appropriate time before putting them back. Laundry omg i had a pile high as me still doing daily of my bath towels etc. But use paper towels to dry my hand. I'm still afraid to touch anything in my house!!! I use paper towels to open cupboards light switches
 I still go through at least 2 times a day with the germicidal bleach wipes and make sure to redo everything i touch. Ive been dping nothing but resting on couch since ive finished the bleaching of whole house. Walls doors cupboard doors inside and out frames anything and everything. Ive gone through like over 300 disposable gloves so far cause u can 1 pair only use per room. Not to mention if u have to go to bathroom or Laundry room while your cleaning then it take off wash put on new pair
 That of course i could only get through staples on line. Its costing me money i don't have but willing to fork out to get rid of this

Eileen

Yeah my kids didnt want to come over to help. They dont want to risk getting it. I have taken wipes to inside my car but it was quite warm that day so the solution kept drying to fast. So i'm going to have to redo what i cam in their. The only thing the vancomycin makes me more cramps and more diarrea. Cannot win.

Eileen

Oh i cannot use any form of laxitive or opiod meds that would cause the bowel movements to form up because you want the c diff to come out. Other wise it can cause the bacteria to be more toxin.

Eileen

Oh sorry keep adding more but no they wouldn't open me up. The fecal transplant is where they take a donors poop and introduce it into your intestines either through colonoscopy. But for me id think that way is put the gi dr couldn't get past 30cm because of my surgery etc from cancer. Or they do through tube up your nose and down through your intestines. Im just hoping this will go away. I wipe everything i use at least 2 times daily now. And any items.

Strongwoman

@Eileen The things I threw out of my Aunt's were questionable as to how long they had been there. Due to her age and her forgetting more often, I don't trust what she says and also we didn't know how long she would be in for. So, out it goes.  
  Do you not have a Costco by or near you?  They would definitely have disposable gloves as do most pharmacies.  You are definitely doing your due diligence.  Is Buscopan an option for you?  It slows down the spasming of smooth muscle. One cannot take it if you suspect or have a bowel obstruction.
  It saddens me but is perhaps from lack of knowledge that your children were unable to help.  That must be tough for you both mentally and physically. The hospital would not have released you either if they did not feel it was under control, public health gave the ok and that it was manageable on your end.
  Did they say how long to expect to see a difference? Or what would warrant returning to seek more help if time went on and no change?
  I will keep my fingers crossed that they will not have to do either an endoscopy or colonoscopy to receive a fecal implant.  Hoping you can fight it and get on the mend and back to your chemo.
  Rest and I am sending you healing vibes.
Take care

GloHo

OMG @Eileen!! I am so terribly sorry to hear of what you are going through! It sounds like you are doing everything you can to get this under control and gone. I hope that this clears up soon so you can get back to treatment. I feel your anxiety with everything that is happening all at once. Thank you for being so open and sharing what you are going through. I have never heard of C Diff…so something else to lock away in my medical knowledge vault! You sound like a very strong and determined woman who will do whatever it takes to get things back on track. Stay strong! 

Eileen

Ty for your info @Strongwoman. The one on call oncologist gave me buscopan but after i researched and talked to my pain management dr at the cancer clinic. It is like the immodium. By using it. It could cause a delay in the c diff from getting eradicated because it would slow down my bowel movements. And thus cause c diff to build. The first week i was on the vancomycin it cleared up. I Had a normal bowel movement once a day for 2 days by day 7 of my vancomycin then it went backwards,  pain started creeping back and diarrea. But being that of course i was getting the side effects cramping and diarrea from the vancomycin. Drs wanted me to finish the full treatment first. I read that if it comes back during treatment they probably would up your dose strength. But not in my case. So its a waiting game now.
Im on the take 1 pill every 3rd day. Today was my second in 3 days well diarrea again due to the vancomycin. My bowels coming out are formed but only the size of my thumb basically only now. Not the normal size. So i don't know. Frustration. I was just reading about some ongoing FMT. Ha u have to have been on meds for at least 3 occurrences. And if your immune compromised it looks like one might be excluded. I'm suppose to have a follow up with my GI dr i saw at the hospital but so far i haven't heard anything. My dr keep asking me at cancer clinic i say don't know. Just taking tylenol. My girlfriend and her husband who were down for a visit their 2 months ago went through everything in my cupboards and we threw out all expired food. Quite a bit i might add. Thanks to the food bank. Well i told the food bank i dont want expired food including their meat. If i get anything from them i check dates mow just to be on the safe side.
Oh disposable gloves i can get most places. Sorry it was the germicidial bleach and wipes and concentrated stuff i had to order from staples.

Eileen

Ty @GloHo for your kind words. My pain and management dr at the cancer clinic says c diff is onside everyone a little bit but it usually takes over due to immune compromised or antibiotics usage. Or they think in my case my ppi i have been using non stop. Who knows. He said it didnt have anything to do with my cleaning skills. Which ive always kept my house clean. Or i could of picked up the spore somewhere by touching something he mentioned. So yes determined to get this uncontrol so i can have chemo.

Strongwoman

@Eileen There is a product called Dr. THYME that kills most things wit it. I out mine in an empty spra y bottele.
Here is a link to it and shows the specs 
https://bodybest.com/collections/disinfecting-wipes-disinfectant-sprays-cleaners/products/dr-thym-hard-surface-disinfectant-readqy-to-use
Hoping you can find something similar. It may be more cost effective. Praying it will leave your body quickly 

hope2022

@Taita
I hope you are having a wonderful time in Portugal with your family! I admire you for living living life to the fullest! 
Last Thursday I noticed your post about the Gem not being effective and starting on Topotecan. I'm currently on Gem, but it looks like it may have run it's course with the last ca taking a huge jump...getting a CT on Thursday. I've noticed a few other ladies on this site that I believe live in Ontario mention Topotecan as well. Do you mind me asking why your doctor has chosen this drug as the next step? At my last appt my oncologist suggested trying Caelyx again, and then possibly Cyclophosphamide or Vincristine. I live in BC and am thinking Toptecan may be used more in Ontario than it is out here.
Not sure on that one..a good question for my doctor tomorrow. 
Enjoy the rest of your time in Portugal and a little time off treatment. 

GloHo

@Taita I am sorry to hear about your progression. Can't wait to see some pics from your trip to Portugal. I'm sure you are having a great time with family.

@hope2022 Thanks for the info on other potential meds. I am also in Ontario and my oncologist has indicated that I would follow the same course of treatment as @Taita, but I am definitely going to inquire about these other options. I am pretty sure that I will not be allowed to retry Caelyx because of the hand-foot syndrome I experienced which caused a stop to that drug. Hmmm...maybe a decreased dose? I'll have to look back in my records because I do not think the Caelyx/Avastin combo really had any effect on my cancer. Do you know if either Cyclophosphamide or Vincristine are used in conjunction with other treatment or alone? Do you know or have you heard about the severity of side effects of these drugs. They all come with major warnings, and everyone is different but, in general, what do you know about these drugs? I will, of course, do some research as well. Thanks so much for sharing this info!!

hope2022

@GloHo
Sorry, it is Vinorelbine, not Vincristine .. my doctor had mentioned Vincristine along the way somewhere. The vinorelbine is given by IV and Cyclophosphamide is a tablet. I just looked at the handouts my doctor gave me months ago and side effects look all very similar to any other chemo drug so far. I remember my doctor saying they like to start with the IV drug first when you may be feeling better and the tablet after that. I know they are both tier 2 drugs. I think topotecan is in that same category, but am wondering if it has a little more uptick than the others. I would be willing to do the five days for a week if that's the case. Good question for my appt tomorrow. 
I did take caelyx with carboplatin 2 years ago, so my doctor thinks it's worth trying again. The mouth sores were the biggest issue for me and I went to a reduced dose. The magic mouthwash worked wonders for the sores. 
Forgot to mention that as far as I know the Vinorelbine and Cyclophospamide are used as single agents. 
Oh boy, what a journey we are all on! 
I hope this is helpful. 

GloHo

@hope2022 Thanks for the clarification and additional info…much appreciated. I’ll add that one to my list for discussion with my oncologist next Monday. Who would have thought our medical knowledge would be so fulsome and that we would be so astute at navigating and advocating our own health care!! I would be going around in circles if it weren’t for this group!! 

Hooodith

Someone mentioned Buscopan and I am going to talk to my NP about it today. I am also looking into slippery elm but I expect its a no go with chemo.
I have had an awful time. The GP at our satellite clinic in Nanaimo told me three weeks ago that he wasn’t going to schedule my next chemo until mon onc had seen the results of my mid-term CT scan. I had that done ten days ago.Chemo would have been this Wednesday. I got the impression that he thought I wouldn’t need any more chemo. This was backed up by the nurse at my last infusion saying it was my last chemo. It was news to me. Yesterday I had the phone appt with mon onc. He was an hour late for the phone appt, and it became clear that he had not read the results of my CT scan. Once he had quickly scanned it, he said I had done well. ( NED and no metastases ). But no way was I to stop chemo, and why didn’t I have one booked. He immediately decided I could have it this Wed. Now, I have had no bloodwork done and our lab only does appts now, so I would have had to go on the ferry to the hospital lab today. Today I have a counselling appt booked,which I have waited six weeks for, and an appt with my NP after that, which I have waited four weeks for. There is no way I am going to cancel them. I need a chemo appt next week and no later because I have a stent replacement, general anaesthetic, in early November and I cannot have it while I am recovering from chemo, which takes me seven days. I have already postponed this surgery twice because of chemo. I have an appt for bloodwork now for next Tuesday morning at our island lab, so I could have chemo any day after that. So yesterday I phoned the cancer clinic in Nanaimo. You never get a human being, just a message to say that they will get back to you when they can. So far I have had no call back. I am tearing my hair out and super stressed. And on top of that, my bladder is acting up, probably due to the stress. I have been advised by a retired nurse who knows the system, to call the cancer clinic manager directly and explain the situation. Its so scary to complain. I always imagine I will be blacklisted and treated badly.

Thanks for listening to me venting. 

GloHo

@Hooodith

Geez…everything all at once. 

Well…NED and no metastases is good news!! It looks like things are going to be moving forward for you with your blood test next week followed by chemo once you hear back from the cancer clinic. I hope your counselling session was good for you today and your appt with the NP goes well - both good opportunities to voice your concerns about how frustrating this process was and how things were handled.

I swear no one understands our state of mind when we are going through all this!! It’s so frustrating that we have so much waiting at every juncture of our journey! They say stress is the worst thing for us, yet I find the health care system is the worst culprit for inflicting stress. 

I am coming up to a CT that will be used to determine whether I continue in the trial or not and I just found out that my oncologist isn’t going to be available to discuss results for a week. That is not sitting well with me. It seems that every time there is a major issue with my treatment she has been on holidays. Fortunately, the lead clinical trial oncologist was available for each event and we worked things out. So, I am going to ask if he can call me re my CT. I just don’t want to wait over another weekend to talk to someone about the results and he follows all trial patients and is familiar with me and he will have to be consulted anyway - and I like him and trust him - he also thinks outside the box - so I would probably ask for a consultation with him anyway. I just want to talk to someone…the move forward can be handled the following week when my oncologist is back (and I’m not even sure she’ll be back then!!). I have an appt with my oncologist this coming Monday (Day 1 of treatment) so things will be sorted out then. 

I think we all have these issues, but it is good to vent. Thanks for also listening to me 😁. 

Strongwoman

@Hooodith Checking in to see how everything went today.
  First, how do you feel about your results?
It is wonderful to be declared NED but the emotional part if it can be a bit tougher. Can be conflicting feelings. Sounds like you will continue to have treatment. Will it be more spread out? How does that sit with you?
  The Buscopan is something I have mentioned.  If you are working with a NP, they may have different or similar views on it. The biggest thing with it is that you can NOT take it if you have an obstruction. I worked with a cancer NP prior to my recurrence. She was great. She referred me back to my team when I recurred.
  I know you have been waiting for your counseling appt for a long time. I am proud of you to keep it as mental/emotional is as important as the physical.  
  Yes the stress and waiting is hard on us and our bodies. I hope your plan to connect with the lead is great and is successful.
  Hoping you aren't exhausted from today. Rest and relax the best you can.
  Tomorrow is another day.

Strongwoman

@Hooodith Apologies. The comment about the lead was for @GloHo.

Strongwoman

Both @Hooodith and @GloHo I am glad you feel you can vent here on this forum. We have feelings sometimes that we don't want to share with family/friends and is what this forum is for. You are both are doing well on your journeys and your outlook. It is normal to need to vent/blow off steam now and then. 
  Take care the both of you and I look forward to reading your next post.

Hooodith

@Strongwoman. @GloHo Thank you for your swift response, I really appreciate it. GloHo, I feel your frustration about your oncologist not being there at such an important time for you, and I am glad you have someone else who you can trust. I hope its good news. As for yesterday? Well I thought it was getting better because I finally got a response from the clinic, and they scheduled me for chemo next Wednesday, so my stress level went down a bit. Off I trotted to the counselling appt. What disappointment, and disbelief! This woman should never be a counsellor. She was judgemental, and told me that I needed to “find the joy” I had lost, that this was my new reality ( the cancer, the health system falling apart), and that there were far worse things happening to other people in the world, like Afghanistan, and Palestine. She also told me she doesn’t usually see people like me ( ? ) I could hardly believe my ears. She also didn’t read me the limits to confidentiality, something that is basic to the beginning of any counselling journey. I had referred myself six weeks ago and included that I had been having passive suicidal thoughts. I am so glad I didn't see her right away, I might have jumped off a bridge. How do people get these jobs? And she’s a nurse too! When I left she asked me to call her in January, after my chemo had finished. I wanted to say “ Over my dead body” but I didn’t think it was a good idea under the circumstances. Then I went to the front desk and was told that my NP was dealing with an emergency and wouldn’t be able to see me, but could phone me later. As I wanted her to examine a part of my body, this was yet another disappointment. I went home, and she phoned me later, and the only appt she could give me was Nov 8th. 

Is mercury in retrograde or something?
Yes, the CT results are good, and I am very happy about them. I have been reminding myself of them through all these bumps in the road. But that counsellor! She actually made me wonder if I was a chronic complainer instead of a depressed person with cancer. I am still struggling with that one. Strongwoman, thanks for the info on Buscopan. I am going to be very careful with it. 

My friends are having a tea party for me on Sunday afternoon. I am looking forward to it so much, because I will be laid up for a week after chemo.
One good thing from yesterday is that my NP raised my antidepressant dose to double the one I have been taking. 

It wonderful to have this safe place to vent. Thanks for being here…

GloHo

Oh dear, @Hooodith. WOW! OMG! Did you talk to your NP about the counsellor? Can she suggest someone who is good at the centre? If you know the names of other counsellors at the centre, maybe you can google them and see reviews? I guess there's nothing you can do when someone is dealing with an emergency, but geez, yet another delay! Do you have an appointment with your oncologist before chemo next week so you can get that body part checked out? I hope the increased dose helps with your depression. A Sunday afternoon tea with friends sounds wonderful and uplifting. Enjoy your time with friends and rest up after chemo to be ready and healthy for your upcoming stent replacement. Sending positive vibes your way. 

Hooodith

@GloHo This is our medical centre, with GPs. There aren’t any other counsellors. She told me that her job was to take referrals from psychiatrists for people with mental illnesses. She can’t be very busy. Our resident population is 4500. I think she probably sits on her thumbs a lot. She also suggested that I see a private counsellor, without checking to see what my financial situation is. I let her know that we are pensioners, on a fixed income, and cannot afford $120 an hour. Her response was that she was sure some of them charged less. But I noted that she didn’t suggest anyone. She was also completely unaware of our local hospice organization that has been operating here with trained volunteers for about five years. It horrifies me that other people might find themselves sitting across from her, and of course, she sat in her office chair at her office desk, while I sat in a much lower squishy easy chair at angles to her. Eye contact was minimal, and she was a few feet away from me.  As a once therapist, I know these are tell-tale signs of someone who does not consider you equal to them. All the time I was a therapist/ counsellor, I sat across from my client at the same level, in similar chairs, and maintained good eye contact. Its a simple message that reduces the power imbalance and projects empathy.

The physical exam I needed is nothing to do with the cancer, so the oncologist would not be appropriate. Plus, I have never met him in person. I don’t even know if they do physical exams at the Victoria cancer clinic. 

But for now, my ducks are more or less in a row and I thank you for caring enough to reach out to me. And for your good wishes. I hope you can get more information about when your oncologist is going to be there. I think they should tell you these things. Best wishes for good news.

GloHo

@Hooodith  What a terrible experience. I’m sorry you had to go thru that. You handled it well though. I often get mini physicals (clothes on) by my oncologist. She pushes and shoves in my problem areas and will do an internal check if she thinks it’s needed. Being on the trial requires a quick physical for the records…so every Day 1 of treatment I’m checked. Maybe you can connect with a peer support person through Wellspring. At least it would be someone who has been through this stuff too and could help you navigate through the system in your area. As well, it would be someone you can talk to about your worries and who could support you with the emotional stuff, too. 

This reminds me of the time I asked to meet with a dietician when I began immunotherapy. I was hoping she could provide some specific dos and don’ts related to my treatment. She was useless in that respect…just got the eat healthy spiel. 

I know things will get sorted out for me on Monday…so am not too concerned. 

Glad things are lining up for you.