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Painful intercourse

Hello Survivor Sisters
I am recovering well from stage 3 Ovarian Cancer. Had my surgery and chemo at Sunny Brook in Toronto. I am from a smaller city in Northern Ontario. 
I am scheduled for ostomy reversal Nov 30 th. 
Every time I attempt intercourse, it is not comfortable, I have been using coconut oil with lavender essential oil as a lubricant, but it is still uncomfortable. Wondering if this is a common occurance for others.
yours in not feeling it!


  • The oils are what I would have suggested as tissue is dry and sensitive after considerable 'time off'.   Store brand baby oil gel worked for me and certainly helped prepare me for my internal check-ups.  It's thicker than oils.    It would be helpful if doctors explained our vaginas may be 'shorter' after radical hysterectomies - just a thought?

  • BTW   Congratulations and good luck with the ostomy reversal ... well done.

  • @HelRuth thanks for your insight. 
    I was wondering if anyone was going to chime in. It must be a common occurrence. 
    My surgery is today!!!
  • Great accommodation near Sunnybrook Hospital in
  • Flowergirl
    Hello @battleoflife12018 - we will be wishing you well for sure and much"success" as you recover from surgery.
    Thank you @HelRuth for sharing.

    You may also want to check out the previous topic "Can we talk about sex?" (you can use the search bar at the top of this page on the right side above the New Discussion Button)

    And as always, check in with your Dr. or NP to see what is suggested for you and share your concerns with them... is it the dryness? is it because of surgery or treatment? or as mentioned, due to time off.... (you may also want to ask them about dilators and about the types of lubricants you are considering, especially for internal use).

  • @Flowergirl
    Thank you for your guidance. The information in the articles was helpful,especially the info about the bulbocavenous muscle. That seems like the issue for me
    yours in better sex ahead
  • Flowergirl
    good to hear 
    there is an upcoming online session with Desouza institute  -cancerchat online support group

    Gynecological Cancer Support Group: Restoring Body Image & Sexual Health After Cancer [Click here to join this group]

    For many women, a diagnosis of cancer and its treatment can have a significant impact on body image, emotional well-being, sexual health and relationships, even after treatments have finished.

    What is the study about? The study purpose is to examine the usefulness of an online support group for women with gynecological or other female cancer, on topics about body image and sexuality. The study will assess the acceptance and effectiveness of the online group, as well as satisfaction of participating in such a group.

    Eligible Participants:

    • Canadians (any province)
    • Between ages 18-65
    • Diagnosis of stage 1-3 gynecological cancer (or other female cancer) and completed or nearing end of treatment
    • Concerns with issues around body image and sexual health

    The group start date is planned for Monday, January 7th and the group will run for 10 weeks for approximately 90 minutes.

    Please note your time zone:

    2:00 PM to 3:30 PM Pacific

    3:00 PM to 4:30 PM Mountain

    3:00 PM to 4:30 PM CST Saskatchewan

    4:00 PM to 5:30 PM Central

    5:00 PM to 6:30 PM Eastern

    6:00 PM to 7:30 PM Atlantic

    6:30 PM to 8:00 PM NDT Newfoundland / Labrador

    Please register if you are interested in connecting with other gynecological cancer patients.

    Register for this group on or before January 6, 2019.

    You can also visit our calendar for other online support groups that may be of interest to you..