Worries about reocurrance - share your story with me

Recently I was at the cancer clinic for check-up. During the rectal exam the doctor could feel lumps in my bowel.  She told me not to go home and worry but that I was to have a CT scan and return for another checkup in a month.  I was scheduled for a colonoscopy later that week (due to constipation problems).  After the procedure I was diagnosed with a healthy bowel.  

Though I tried not to worry, I think subconsciously I was thinking "what if". I think even though I have done really well (1 year 7 months post chemo), a tiny part of me in the back of my brain cannot help but worry about a reoccurance. Especially, when normal health problems crop up.  Fortunately everything turned out ok, but I am left with a throbbing headache today after all of that go ahead last week.  So, I am just going to take a day for me, drink some tea, do some knitting, and relish in the thought that after all I have been through, I am ok.  :)


  • I am going to follow this thread for sure....because I truly don't know how I move on after chemo is done.
  • I moved on full steam ahead! I was so happy to have the chemo done.  I am a happy camper and confident in my health but when things like this pop up I can't help but wonder. I guess that is natural. :)
  • Hello @sunshine1122 and @red1976... yes, I agree, those are all understandable feelings.
    I'm going to review this webinar again:

    I found it very helpful. 
  • I recently went for my final checkup at the cancer centre, I’ve been in remission for five years and now it’s protocol for them to return me to the care of my family doctor. Even though this was an incredibly joyful moment, fear of recurrence remains an extremely difficult issue for me. Sometimes I have a terrible fear of being rediagnosed or ending up back at the Tom Baker Cancer Centre. Every checkup, test, or change in how my body feels still causes anxiety. The positive news is that after so many years I think I’ve become somewhat better at coping with the day-to-day apprehension and uncertainty that comes with being a cancer survivor.

  • Hi @SunshineC @red1976 @Flowergirl @Jackie
    Fear of recurrence, hypervigilence over all the aches and pains in the body and tests are all very common. There is a great book called "Picking Up the Pieces" by Kathy Scalzo and Sherri Magee.  This book addresses how to move forward after cancer and pick up the pieces of your life again in a constructive way.  You may find it helpful.

  • I worry about recurrence every day, even though my tumour was considered LMP (low malignancy potential) and removed in stage 1. I just remind myself that what will be will be, and accept that cancer will always be a part of my life. I have good days and bad, good moods and down right sh*tty ones, so I try to stay busy and do things that make me happy. Recently it has been letting go of something that has been causing nothing but stress and starting a direct sales business with a company I am really passionate about.
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